Dear Consultant, with Love

Here are some mails you may (not) write to your beloved Consultants when you're an Architect:

Dear Structural Consultant,
In the attached excel sheet, kindly fill the column for revised dates with something more concrete.

Dear Plumbing Consultant,
Kindly suggest if flushing the wall to the beam would resolve the discrepancies in the other deliverables that are in the pipeline.

Dear Electrical Consultant,
Why were the earthing pits removed? The Clients received a shock when they opened the drawing.

Dear Fire Protection Consultant,
We are unable to burn your drawings onto a CD.

Dear A/C Consultant,
Kindly send the exact cooling load so that we can freeze the current scheme.

Dear Landscape Consultant,
We confirm to have received the flower sample on 14 February 2012. But the BOQ had mentioned Crotons.

Dear Lighting Consultant,
We have been in the dark so far. Now that you are on board, please could you throw some light on the project?

Regards
:P

Banana Bash Weekend

The last weekend was to be 3 days long, and just as I was leaving office, I got a call from Miss K, "Lamba weekend hai, koi plan banana hai..."
I made some purchases on the way and joined her and DebD at the cafe and presented my shopping before them, announcing, "There you go, 3 plain bananas!"
DebD and I finished eating our share, and looking at the lone fruit left on the table I remarked, "Now, that's a-kela!"

Extra Innings by AlmostLOL

An enquiry into the poor performance of the Indian Cricket team in the last series revealed that our players were severely distracted by the nuisance caused by mosquitoes.
They had no option but to get All Out.
***

Q: In the 2nd innings of the Match, how did the Architects team equal the score set in the first innings?
A: By using MatchProperties.
***

Fair and Math-ly

"Does anyone have a calculator?" I asked to anyone who'd listen, for most seemed engrossed in JLo recounting her trip to Pondicherry. When she reached the part about getting a tan, I asked aloud for a Scientific Calculator. Irritated with the interruption, she asked "Why?"
"Because it has a tan inverse button!"