A Pitcher of PJs

Convincing one colleague at a time, I gathered a party of 5 to head to the CnT Canteen. Soon, the Communist Lady was joined by her husband, and they bantered about the upcoming release, The Life of Pi.
"... I've seen the trailer, that movie has no content!"
"Shut up, Vikki, I've read the book, it's full of content."
I interrupted the loving couple, "Are you referring to the Table of Contents?"

Seeing the discussion turn to movies, my boss said "I need to fill my mug!", and poured himself more froth than beer in excitement. I taunted, "Wo peene ke liye hai ya kapde bhigone ke liye!"

Looking anywhere but in my direction to ignore me, my Architect Boss exclaimed on the interiors of the pub: "These windows are all fake, man!" I piped up, "We could threaten them to give us free beer, else we'll report them to Microsoft."

The finale of the evening, that didn't happen, was Vikki excusing himself to use the loo. Had he done so, I would have called it, Vikki-leaks!

Finding Nirvana

My Boss and I were discussing
               the fate of the façade of my building.
Su had heard some Nirvana music
               which he was having trouble finding.
My Boss tried to introduce bands and grooves, and align mullions to
               make the building impress any guest.
Su drummed his desk and my Bong Friend ambled over
               to aid in his quest.
My Boss said, "Okay, try this."
Su said, "No, what Band is this?"
I said, "It might be a groove instead."
My Bong Friend did a facepalm smacking his head.
I had called Nirvana a "groove-y kind of music".
Even in his grave, that made Kurt Cobain very very sick.

Happy Happy Mornings

There's a fine line between intellectualism and boredom, more than often one begetting the other.
It was a lazy Saturday afternoon while we awaited our lunch order that the discussion turned to redundancies in beauty. It's the exclusivity of beauty that entices us, and Happy Singh established, "Soch yaar, agar subah roz beach par hoti..."
I cut him mid sentence, "To reception pe humare calls kaun attend karti?"

(For the uninitiated, Rose (wo)mans the Reception desk at my office.)

Don't shoot the Tiger

Intrigued by the tiger scene in the trailer of The Life of Pi, the Head of Research stopped by my Bong Friend's desk to watch in awe a book that they'd both read, being made a movie.
After reminiscing many a part, she finally voiced what had been getting the better part of her curiosity: "I wonder how they shot those animals..."
Spotting an entrée, I charged, "Didn't you read the disclaimer? No animals were harmed or injured..."

Parenting Details

A new architect at office piqued interest in the door details I was discussing with a trainee. As I completed my monologue, she asked, "Could you tell me about toilet details? If I'm using different tiles, how do I go about hatching them?"
I answered like an experienced architect, "you just have to meticulously sit on the task at hand", and added, "or, you could ask a hen to do it."

Tète-à-tète with Happy Singh

Like me, you too may get lost in the numerous look-alike Sectors which make up the city of Chandigarh. Designed by a great Architect, it has also produced great Architects. When Happy Singh returned from his trip home, I asked him if he had met Tutu, an ex-employee practicing in the same City.
HS: "Arrey yaar! You know I tried his number so many times, but man, I just couldn't find him."
Me: "Hmm... maybe he was in a bad sector. File not found."
***

Walking past the printer, I narrowly missed running over a fresh print that had wandered away from the output tray. Recognizing the project, I took the sheet to Happy Singh, and asked, "Did you just shoot this print?"
"Arrey haan, thanks yaar!" came a relieved reply.
"Tabhi sochoon, ye itna mara hua kyun lag raha hai!"

Biddings of Horipodo Chatterjee

Over the gurgling sound of the flush in the detached toilet at my Bong friend's place, I realized that he was so tall, and his room was so small, he had to keep his Head (a)n(d) Shoulders in the loo.


On another occasion, he was sorting fresh prints which were due at Site later that afternoon. After what I assumed was the last print out of the plotter, he burst out, "What a waste of an A1 sheet! I gave a print for two copies, and the second one had to come out light."
I said, "That's good, right? You won't have to carry much!"

Musical Discord

//Musical knowledge mandatory
It was a moment of excitement unpacking and lifting the 25Kg Roland RD-700 out of the box. Checking all the accessories that came with the Keyboard, by brother exclaimed anxiously: "They didn't give a power cord?"
Spotting the soon-to-be-displaced Epiphone left handed guitar standing against the wall, I said, "Why don't you play a power chord instead?"

The Saucerer

The Pump Room was underground. He had sloped the floor to an edge. He had provided a Saucer Drain at the end that would collect the water. And then he did a facepalm. "How on Earth (in the Pump Room) will the water get out?"
I tried to help my Bong Friend out, but he cut me off: "If it's that cup and saucer thing you messaged about, I don't wanna hear it."
I said, "No, this one's better."
"Okay, tell."
"You can make it into a Flying Saucer!"

Oops! I Sunk it!

My Bong friend had the epiphany that in his ongoing Project he would not be able to lower the Electrical and Store rooms from their present level without incurring considerable re-concreting. Having explained the entire situation to Su, he summarized, "So you see, I can't sink these two rooms."
Su drew in a breath but before his reply came, I interjected, "Well, you could always flood the two rooms...(and they would... sink)."

Graduation Gusto

Making small talk with her, I was just trying to make the new joinee feel at home. Later, when the veteran of the Research Team arrived, I announced, "Did you know she passed out in 2004?"
Having expected a wisecrack from me, which didn't come, she replied, exasperated, "I know!!! She's from my College. She's just a year junior to me."
I replied, "That's okay, but I'm still wondering... after 2004, when exactly did she regain consciousness?"

Traffically LOL

While I savored my Cheese Chilli Toast, Rajneesh tried hard to swallow the two slices of bread that the Sandwichwala had glued together with some sweet substance. "It's so dry!" she complained through a mouthful.
Leaning aside to watch the cars stuck in the signal towards Worli, I suggested, "Maybe you could stand in the middle of the road. You could get all the Jam you want!"
***
Having convinced me to board the Metro at the next station, my Bong friend went on to show us a beautiful English house hidden from M. G. Road by the infrastructure megalith. Setting her 550D at the highest ISO, the Talkative Trainee tried her best to capture the house against the darkening sky. "The shots aren't clear, there's so much noise!" she exclaimed.
After the echoes of the last car honking below the Station had died down I suggested, "You could try now. It's a lot quieter than before."

Mr. Chatterjee, Vampire

Deboda asking for a "kataar to cut bataar paper" was an epic sentence during my time at College.
However, Miss K, who's read more Vampire stories than facebook status updates, was in to receive the shock of her life while recovering from a spell of fever.
Putting down his untouched cup of coffee he said gravely, "Lymphocyte kam hai, isiliye tum itna beemaar padti ho. Laagta hai tumhara blood taiste karna padega."

Lift Please!

It's not unusual for my Boss to get stranded in office with no favourable means of transport at his disposal. One such evening, utilizing the (extra) time available, prolonged discussions ensued with many a studio-mate. Thus satisfied, he announced, "Anybody going home now? I need a lift."
"Why don't you give him one?" I asked my Bong friend, who epitomizes the use of public transport. "You're the one working on that project for Otis." 

Triple Truffle

"Macha! How can this Juice counter be so long? You can have The Last Supper on this", mocked Su while discussing the interiors of the hotel project. "The layout will obviously have to change", I replied thoughtfully, "Who would serve supper at the Juice bar?"

Su persisted, "See, the idea of having a bar is that people get too drunk to go home, and check into a room at the hotel."
"Your plan is good, but it can't get a sanction." I announced. When I had everyone's attention, I continued "The Airport Authority won't let you get so high!"

Kid Rock's Devil Without A Cause marked the end of the discussion, which then turned to our senior engineer liking metal music. To the trainee who questioned that in disbelief, I replied, pointing over her shoulder, "Oh yeah, he's as big a metal fan as that!"
And smiling back from the wall behind, making her lock of hair sway in its breeze, was an innocent, wall mounted, Metal Fan!

Fruity Architects

"When Architect Kerry Hill was a fresher at college, architecture mein unka haath paka nai tha, what was he called?" I asked Su, my project senior and devoted fan of the architect who designed the ITC Shonar among other projects.
When he gave in, I replied: "Kachhi Kerry!!!"

The Missing Part

A colleague at office had to take an emergency medical leave when his Doctors recommended an immediate appendectomy. Reminiscing the good old days, and lamenting on his absence with others during lunch one afternoon I added, "If he's to ever write an autobiography, it would have an Index, but no Appendix!"

Lolday Tuesday

Within five minutes of my reaching office, the second time Nu repeated "Good morning sir, we haven't received your quote" over the phone,  I couldn't help saying, "Maybe it's with the dry cleaners!"

An hour later, in the project meeting, my boss announced "aesthetics k liye mujhe iPad pe baithna hoga."
I exclaimed, "tab to wo aur chapta ho jayega."
Brandishing his pen like a dagger, he said, "tu joke maarne se pehle haath table pe aise rakhke bolega" and he put his palm on the table in the classic Knife Game style.
"Kyun, ye Gita hai kya?" I mocked.
"Tere liye ab yehi Gita hai."
"But ye to Sukrita hai!!!"
(who, incidentally, is our Client)

Dear Consultant, with Love

Here are some mails you may (not) write to your beloved Consultants when you're an Architect:

Dear Structural Consultant,
In the attached excel sheet, kindly fill the column for revised dates with something more concrete.

Dear Plumbing Consultant,
Kindly suggest if flushing the wall to the beam would resolve the discrepancies in the other deliverables that are in the pipeline.

Dear Electrical Consultant,
Why were the earthing pits removed? The Clients received a shock when they opened the drawing.

Dear Fire Protection Consultant,
We are unable to burn your drawings onto a CD.

Dear A/C Consultant,
Kindly send the exact cooling load so that we can freeze the current scheme.

Dear Landscape Consultant,
We confirm to have received the flower sample on 14 February 2012. But the BOQ had mentioned Crotons.

Dear Lighting Consultant,
We have been in the dark so far. Now that you are on board, please could you throw some light on the project?

Regards
:P

Banana Bash Weekend

The last weekend was to be 3 days long, and just as I was leaving office, I got a call from Miss K, "Lamba weekend hai, koi plan banana hai..."
I made some purchases on the way and joined her and DebD at the cafe and presented my shopping before them, announcing, "There you go, 3 plain bananas!"
DebD and I finished eating our share, and looking at the lone fruit left on the table I remarked, "Now, that's a-kela!"

Extra Innings by AlmostLOL

An enquiry into the poor performance of the Indian Cricket team in the last series revealed that our players were severely distracted by the nuisance caused by mosquitoes.
They had no option but to get All Out.
***

Q: In the 2nd innings of the Match, how did the Architects team equal the score set in the first innings?
A: By using MatchProperties.
***

Fair and Math-ly

"Does anyone have a calculator?" I asked to anyone who'd listen, for most seemed engrossed in JLo recounting her trip to Pondicherry. When she reached the part about getting a tan, I asked aloud for a Scientific Calculator. Irritated with the interruption, she asked "Why?"
"Because it has a tan inverse button!"

Fixed Rate Infatuation

At my boss's birthday dinner treat, we were discussing how my fellow colleague had recently lost interest in the receptionist at his client's office.
"May be you could consider the receptionist at the bank where you have your account", I offered. "You do get fixed interests out there."

Architecture in Ahmedabad

Any architect who's done his homework would get this one. And my colleague having heard the word so many times finally asked aloud "What does Sangath actually mean?" While others gave explanations about "the company you keep", I phrased the sentence "Poore Amdabaad mein Sangath ka asar hai!"
Amidst facepalms, my boss, trying to bring sense back to the conversation, elaborated on how the establishment was an open office, and that anyone could walk in and feel inspired. Being the lost cause that I am, I replied "Well, they gotta have Open Office. With all the systems running Mac, how can they use MS Office?"